hungarysovaries: showmeyourb00bs: one half of tumblr: “i just wanna cuddle under a blanket and eat soup and watch movies all day with you and maybe kiss your cheek and stare into your eyes and hold your hand and tell you i love you” other half of tumblr: “unf i want to take all of your clothes off with my mouth then ram you against the wall and pin your arms up and then just fuck the shit out...
rural-juror: here’s my number, so please oh god don’t call i hate talking on the phone send me a text if you need me and don’t get mad if it takes me a few hours to respond maybe
I just watched an old couple get into their car and set off the alarm and then try to turn it off for like ten minutes before giving up and driving away with the alarm still going off now that i think about it maybe i just watched an old couple steal a car
tatermo: I may not be good at anything, but I am cute as hell.
kawaiians: WISDOM TEETH ARE FUNNY BECAUSE OH MY GOD THESE ARE THE DUMBEST TEETH THERE ARE ITS GROWING IN SIDEWAYS HOW HIGH TO YOU HAVE TO Be
byle: my dad asked what i was doing so i said ‘ur mum’
FINALLY, I can link my Facebook account to my Tumblr account so all my friends...– No one, ever. (via christophernolanss)
ollymurs: i would follow you but your theme
the other day my mom heard me and my friend talking about how we hate hipsters she now associates everything bad with the word hipster yesterday she said “your father is being such a hipster right now” today she said “your room is so hipster please go clean it” this is just like the time she thought “ratchet” meant good “wow the food at this restaurant is so ratchet”
instead of learning from my mistakes i like to dwell on them until i have a panic attack
rubywhiterabbit: My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something… Pluto is there. The artist remembered Pluto. Guys… The artist drew Pluto crying.
me: haha ok
autocorrect: HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAA BLOWJOB
Reblog if you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans*,...
lgbtq-gmh: You all GMH [Give Me Hope]. lgbtq-gmh.tumblr.com
howdomermaidsfuck: incises: teapayne: unibrowsing: fungi: Guy eats an entire stick of Old Spice deodorant in a minute…… Fuck, he’s so mellow about it WHY xander hates his life